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"Golpher & Arctic Gold"

June 6, 2017

     In our royal carriage (our golf cart), Ina, Jinx, Rowlf and I chased to Linky’s cool-to-the-eye, pleasing-to-the-touch, fair links pro shop.


     “Linky, hello.”  Simply seconds from the pool, inside the club, we waved.


     “Good morning everyone,” said Linky.  “You had a great breakfast.  Hopefully, they’ll be no more howling, no more spooking in the night.  Now, what’s up?”


     I cringed then went on.  “Linky, we’d like to hit balls.  We’ll try out the range, please.”


     Fashionable, Jinx and Ina had wandered to pink, bright-yellow, to scarlet visors and they were also looking at comfy Titleist gloves.  Meanwhile, cousin Rowlf, who carried a 9 handicap, was mesmerized by Callaway, Nike, Srixon, by Taylor Made, by so many gleaming, pure-white, dimpled golf balls.


     “I’ll pay for a bucket of balls for Rowlf and me to split, please.”  While I was Dog-bone Forest’s club dog, was often tipped nicely by members, and, as, on occasion I had special ambassador orders from the president regarding golf matters, while I was, allowed to play for free, swim and eat for free, while I had a permanent home with Master Linky, I still had to pay for items from the pro shop.  Yet, I had a 25% discount on merchandise and was grateful. 


     “One moment, Golpher.”  Linky spun.


     Near me, folded to perfection, laid out on polished, oak, display tables, Izod, Polo, Cutter & Buck caught attention.  Too, there were umpteen white tees which filled a big glass bowl as Dog-bone Forest scorecards were available at no cost to anyone playing.  As Linky helped a member, Mr. Hunt, organize his playing partners, my Inu eyes swept to the 42-inch, plasma screen behind the counter.  My ears perked as I listened to the male anchor for the Weather Channel.


     “Arctic Ice mass is 40% less than it was 50 years, ago.  Worldwide average temperatures are 2.5 degrees, Fahrenheit, greater.  NASA is studying sea, ice melt.  The ocean will have Arctic sea, ice-free periods by mid-century and extensive permafrost thaw at century-end.”


     I gulped.  “Bad news,” I whispered.  “Ice-melt.  Rowlf’s right.  Moose to snowy owls to lemmings, are in snowman trouble.  Golf courses under water?  We’ll have to adapt.”



(Image of Golpher, Ina, Jinx, Rowlf, and Linky in pro shop, viewing merchandise, two ladies, one man doing the same)

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